Thanks 4 Making Me Realize Without U Realizing It~

haha i know i always come out with strange posts' title.

actually i'm posting this bcoz i realize ders my mistake that i should fix.

i mean mistakes.

1stly, its about a guy that i call iban. HAHA

i dun care if he doesnt read this but i just wanna tell that

i was so regret for posting the two previous posts.

i know it hurt him so cuz i wuld feel the same way if i were in his place. hee

but that moment, i couldnt think sane cuz i was haunted by my past.

i duno whats wrong wif me..

why is it so difficult to let go my stupid past ?

there's nothing to be cry for anymore.

i'm here now.

building a better future insyaAllah.

thats why i'm here :)

he makes me realize that.

let hippo go.

he's nothing but just a sweet memories to be remember.

yeah memories.

i should not be afraid to make more memories.

i have iban now.

and the day that we fought , well i guess 1week ago.

it made me realize that i actually love iban. so much.

i was damn afraid of losing him, fine its pretty shock.

what do i like bout him?

well from my opinion i could see his sincerity to hear my problems even he has nothing to say sometimes.

but i really hope he will change even a bit (:

n dun say ur not a gentleman.

i believe ur one of it but u just dun show it.

its ok as long u can take care of me n make me survive at this freakin place !

thanks 4 loving me.

hope its with ur sincere heart (:

last word

i'm sorry for scold/angry/mad/shout at u before this. hee

i love u ok ?

do not betray n break my trust cuz u told me

u never wanna hear the word 'putus'

:)

a New World for Me To Accept (:

isnt it would be freakin shock if i say i'm bored at home n want to go back to school ?

ofcuz it will sound fuckin weird.

everyone knows how much i hate that place which i call school n its a place where i actually live.

but dis evening i told 'iban' i wanted to go back to school n then he said padan muke.

UGGGHHHH

dun tell me im startin to love that freakin place ?

hell no !

maybe i just bored at home.

i should hate that place so much this moment.

why?

~im having a big war with my besty , oh shud i still call her besty ?

i mean my ex besty, why she still dun wanna admit even a single mistake ?

i had apologized , ugh whateva.

~the MT are chasing me to brainwashing me xD

just a matter of me date wif iban.

"haha what does it mean a couple if u guys dun see each other"

dats my motto lolz.

~ustazah's also lookin forward for me for a private chat.

i wonder what is it but ofcuz it has to be sumtin wif dat date-matter too.

~oh n hye. more people are knowing dat news. ugggh

fortunately diagnostic just ended.

but imagine me facing all those above when i was facing the exam.

for God's sake i never been so stress like that.

iban acted like he dun care eventot he listened to me.

i duno la sumtimes he culd be a very caring bf

n some other time

NOT

should i dump him ?

haha no no

takhabeslagikikisduetdie xDD

oh btw lpe na catat

1 nov 2011 which i dun remember the day

mulut aku kne operate cuz ade mcm ketumbuhan kcik.

moments die ?

ok cmni

haha

ms aku kne bius aku x tgk.

tp sumpah sakit yela ade jarum pnjg kne cucuk kt lips korg.

aku na nanges tp sumpah x nanges un aq an gentleman.

then aku x ase pape ag. numb.

tp aku ase cm lips aku besa ms tu.

then die ltk cm ape tah kt muke aku bg mke aku tegang lol.

then aku tgk pe jd sume.

specialist tu amek pisau kcik n potong kt tmpt uh.

byk kali kot die ptong sumpah aku takot.

then aku tgk die lap darah byk gile.

yela lips kn act kulit tp die merah cuz darah flow.

after da hbs potong die amek benang jahit tu n a pair of mcm scissor.

jarum die pndek je.

then die jahit la, time die tarik benang uh aku dpt rse mcm ade tali kt mulut aku huhu.

da gunting pe sume n da settle.

i looked myself in da mirror,

haha hodoh doe !

my lips were lookin bigger than usual hodoh doe.

ms na blek tu cm saket doe.

bius die na ilang.

but then ok je after mkn ubat smpai la skrg.

alhamdulilah tade pape.

thursday next week bukak jahitan so bapak lme la aku pb.

me n iban are gonna missing each other ):

oh im kinda realize

he's the reason dat i stay.

thx iban ilysm.

n im startin to learn to accept our new life that comes

n im tryin to stop cryin remembering my old life :'( :')

maybe Allah wants to give me something that is more worthy then staying in my old life that perfect.

n maybe Allah wants to show me we need to sacrifice for something we aim.

insyaAllah i'll do wtv to get it n win this fight.

thats filzah :)